A Humour Thread

[Accuracy]

Sex Therapy - Florida Style

A Florida couple, both well into their 80s, go to a sex therapist's office.

The doctor asks, "What can I do for you?"

The man says, "Will you watch us have sexual intercourse?"

The doctor raises both eyebrows, but he is so amazed that such an elderly couple is asking for sexual advice that he agrees.

When the couple finishes, the doctor says, "There's absolutely nothing wrong with the way you have intercourse." He thanks them for coming, he wishes them good luck, he charges them $50 and he says goodbye.

The next week, however, the couple returns and asks the sex therapist to watch again. The sex therapist is a bit puzzled, but agrees.

This happens several weeks in a row. The couple makes an appointment, has intercourse with no problems, pays the doctor, then leave.

Finally, after 5 or 6 weeks of this routine, the doctor says, "I'm sorry, but I have to ask. Just what are you trying to find out?"

The old man says, "We're not trying to find out anything. She's married and we can't go to her house. I'm married and we can't go to my house. The Holiday Inn charges $98. The Hilton charges $139. We do it here for $50, and I get $43 back from Medicare...!

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Get Offline

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Newlyweds

It seems that a young couple had just gotten married and spent their wedding night with the young man's parents.

In the morning the mother got up and prepared a lovely breakfast, went to the bottom of the stairs and called for them to come down for breakfast.

After a long wait the family ate without the newlyweds. The mother said, "I wonder why they never came down to eat?" The grooms young brother said, "Mommy, I think -- " "Oh shut up, I don't want to hear what you think!" said the mother, not wanting to hear any inappropriate comments from the younger brother.

At lunch time the mother again prepared a wonderful meal and again called the young couple to eat. After another long wait the family proceeded to eat, and after the meal was completed the mother once again said, "I wonder why they never came down to eat?" Once again the younger brother started to speak, but was interrupted by the mother.

At dinner time once again the mother cooked a very elaborate meal, had the table set perfect and called the newlyweds to join the family for dinner. After another long wait the mother once again questioned why they had not come downstairs all day. The young lad once again said, "Mommy I think -- " "Well what is it that you think?" asked the mother rather irritated. "I think that when my big brother came down to get the Vaseline last night, he got my model plane glue instead."

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[zoloko]

I thought this is great!!!

Bad Day At The Office VID LINK

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Just Dance!

[Accuracy]

This is a pretty cool test, check it out.

This test is based on how cool you were in High School--what crowd you ran with, etc., it's pretty accurate.

You may want to send it to your friends to see if they've changed.

LET'S SEE IF YOU ARE A COOL PERSON: It only Takes 1min

http://www.sailinganarchy.com/general/2002/cool_test.htm

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[Accuracy]

All Strung Out

This woman rushed to see her doctor, looking very much worried and all strung out. She rattles off: “Doctor, take a look at me. When I woke up this morning, I looked at myself in the mirror and saw my hair all wiry and frazzled up, my skin was all wrinkled and pasty, my eyes were bloodshot and bugging out, and I had this corpse-like look on my face! What's WRONG with me, Doctor!?”

The doctor looks her over for a couple of minutes, then calmly says: “Well, I can tell you that there ain't nothing wrong with your eyesight....”

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[Accuracy]

Subject: Fw: HOW to protect ur ATM cash ...Worth a read!!

>> Worth a read!! don't know how true it really is, but worth
>> keeping
>>in mind
>>
>>
>> PIN NUMBER REVERSAL (GOOD TO KNOW)
>>
>> If you should ever be forced by a robber to withdraw money from an
>>ATM
>>
>> machine, you can notify the police by entering your Pin # in
>>reverse.
>>
>> For example if your pin number is 1234 then you would put in 4321.
>>
>> The ATM recognizes that your pin number is backwards from the
>>
>> ATM card you placed in the machine.
>>
>>
>> The machine will still give you the money you requested, but
>>unknown
>>to the robber,
>>
>> the police will be immediately dispatched to help you.
>>
>> This information was recently broadcasted on TV and it states that
>>it
>>is
>>
>> seldom used because people don't know it exists.
>>
>>
>> Please pass this along to everyone possible.
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>

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